Mother and Daughter {Rin}

Amongst the ruins and destruction that remained in the Gotei, the figure of a young woman could be seen making her way through it. Though she did her best when she was off duty to hide her presence, it was rather difficult to hide the shock of light blue hair that adorned her head. Today however was different. She was still dressed in her shinigami robes but she appeared to be looking for someone. She had been given a few possible leads by her Captain unintentionally and she had intended to follow them.

Making her way through the dirt and dust to a dead end, the soft flutter of a butterfly would catch her attention. It was strange. No one usually sent for her except her Captain. She held a finger out to the butterfly to receive it's message and was surprised by who it had come from. Xiaoyu Demizu was not a woman that could be ignored. Well....she was but at your own peril. It wasn't a familial bond that made Rin decide she needed to see what Xiao wanted but rather one of obligation. It was true that the woman had taken her in when she was younger and treated her like she was her own child but she never really felt that connection between a child and their mother.

With a sigh, she left the ruins she had been investigating and made her way to the place Xiao lived. It would take her some time to get there as she wasn't exactly thrilled to be pulled away from her search for who knows what. When she finally arrived, she made for the platform where she could sense the Academy Headmistress resting. "You called for me?" She asked looking out at the lake.

Watching the former Soitaicho bow to her was a surprise. It was something that just didn't happen. It was true that they had a rocky relationship but it was mainly due to a disconnect and the occasional minor thing. She watched as Xiao moved to sit back in her chair. When the joint froze, she was tempted to help but found herself incapable of moving to do so.

Even after her mother sat down, it would take her a minute before she joined her. The distance between them, though it was a matter of a couple feet, was miles in nature. "We all had a part to play in that war, myself included. You have no reason to hold yourself accountable. You wouldn't be in the state you're in if it wasn't for my brother. I wasn't able to beat him in that first fight so in the end, it is my fault you nearly died."

As she had spoke, her gaze remained on the water. She felt unable to even look at Xiao. Combined with that was the fact that the serene appearance of the water simply made her feel more at peace than talking did. Whether it was because of her zanpakuto or just personal preference, she didn't know. What she did know was that she had an actual family that for once cared but something just felt...wrong.

Out of the corner of her eye, Rin saw the motion of Xiaoyu wringing her hands rather nervously as they sat in a momentary silence. From the way she held herself, it appeared the Soitaicho was trying to find the words to say. Honestly, a part of Rin wanted to simply tell her to leave things be and that words weren't needed at this time but the words would never cross her lips. For a moment, she closed her eyes. Even now when most would feel comfortable enough to let their guard down, she could not. It was just something she didn't quite know or want to do. Rin remained quiet when Xiaoyu finally spoke, the words only soliciting a silent shake of her head in response.

Perhaps it was the undertone of pain in her "mother's" words that made her reconsider for a moment. Even now that Rin knew who her family really was, it did not change the fact that she found it horribly strange that they could care so much about someone they hardly know. Trust had to be earned and yet she had never truly done anything to deserve that trust. For all they knew she could potentially be a sleeper agent with a mission to exterminate the elderly woman.

A small breath would escape her lips, nearly a sigh when she heard the fact that someone wanted to know who she was. That single question was really the problem wasn't it? Not even she knew just who she was. It was for that reason that she didn't even think whan the automatic response left her lips. "There isn't really anything to know." The sentence was simple, but even so anyone that vaguely knew Rin would know it was just a way to avoid answering a question she either didn't have an answer to or that she didn't want to answer. "Why do you want to know anyway? Don't you already have all the answers you want?"

That gaze of Xiao's almost made her feel like shrinking away. Instead, all she did was drop it so that she was no longer looking over at the elderly Soitaicho. This person was her mother and yet she didn't really feel any familial relation towards her at all. Honestly, Rin wasn't sure what to think because for once, her thoughts were her own. As always, Xiao was trying to find out what it was that made Rin tick. But the real question was how could Rin tell Xiao, when she didn't even know herself. She would remain silent as the Soitaicho spoke, thinking the whole while. It wasn't until Xiao seemed to be thoughtful that Rin once again raised her gaze. When Xiao spoke again, mentioning possibly leaving for the World of the Living or her staying to help the Gotei, a flicker of a smile touched Rin's lips even if for just a moment.

"If I were to be honest... I have considered disappearing. It would probably be better that way."

Her tone of voice was flat but even so, Xiao would be able to tell she was being honest with her for once. At the same time, it seemed she agreed with the thoughts of many others here in the Gotei. Especially considering many of the people seemed to question her very existence. In all honesty, she felt like a burden on Xiao and it bothered her. No one wanted to be a burden. It was one of the most basic living feelings. Rin would look back out at the lake, her thoughts all over her face even though she tried to hide it.

"I don't...regret helping. But at the same time...it wasn't my place to interfere when I did. Because of me...my family...a lot of decent people were either killed or hurt."

The sigh coupled with the regret in Xiao's voice held Rin's attention for a moment. Perhaps she felt as if things needed to be considered now. There was no sign of falseness in Xiao's words. Nor did her intentions seem dark. She closed her own eyes for a second and took a breath. Of all the things to happen, she truly did not expect this candid chit chat and blatant honesty. She expected lies and manipulation. It had become such a thing she was used to that it barely phased her anymore.

"You did what you had to. None would hold you at fault. And perhaps I....just need to think a bit longer about what I will do once everything is rebuilt."

She wasn't lying. Just as she wasn't just saying things to try making Xiao feel better. It was true. If given the time, maybe Rin could learn more of her relatives and judge for herself. Not to mention, it would be the perfect excuse to learn more of herself as well. Times were changing. They were no longer at war. What point was there to cast aside someone that could possibly help.

Even if that someone was technically her mother....

"Death follows all war regardless of who is involved. You couldn't have stopped it. But for now, I think we should learn from what happened to fix those mistakes."

Fixing mistakes. That was all everyone seemed to be doing now. But after a massive mistake like the past war, it was only right. Once things were fixed maybe life could carry on. Right? Even if things didn't exactly get better, it wasn't an overnight process anyway. Just the same as building trust wasn't a magical overnight process. Right now however, Xiao was slowly gaining Rin's trust. Even if sh was stil la tad suspicious of the former Soitaicho.